|
Bradnickerson
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Brad
Gender: Male
Interests: Writing, eating, sky diving minus the sky, books, movies, Chistmas, theology, jackets, games, candles... well fire in general, sacrificial sheep slaying, chainsaws, swords, the middle ages, chivalry, knighthood, comics, cupholders, building cardboard spaceships, and many much more exciting things!
Expertise: Pudding. Just pudding.
Occupation: General of the monsters that l
Industry: The Resistance!!!
Message: message me
AIM:  bradnickerson
MSN: bradfordnickerson@hotmail.com
Member Since:
2/9/2004
|
|
| How in the name of all things holy do I always miss it snowing really good. This is starting to get to me.
| | |
| I realized why I wasn't having any fun with this anymore, I was doing it to get responses. Which usually is self defeating. This is my way of saying I'm doing this for myself now. I'll post my thoughts or what ever I feel like saying at any given point in time. So just bugger off!
If your still with me after that telling off congratulations, have a cookie. So if that didn't give it away don't read further if you don't like anyone oppionated.
I don't understand how people can say they lost sight of their dreams by doing the boring daily grind of life. "Other things just became more important." Personally after spending the last few weeks putting more time in than a Chinese child in a sweatshop I cannot fathom how that life style can be found rewarding or how that statement could be true. Especially if you work in retail. Of course someone has to do it! No actually I'd prefer to buy things from little local shops where people really love what they do. Support the dream, buy things for twice as much at your local... whatever. Wal-Mart must die!
My biggest irritant about my current employ is that it sucks up so much time that I can't seem to get any writing in and give Regina the attention she deserves. I'm getting paid so little it doesn't even pay off in any way. For me this pushes me to greater furvor to fufill my dreams rather than trying to climb some arbitrary ladder put in place to make you think that stepping up a rung or two will change the world for the better. Nope it just makes you bitter at those that are under you not doing everything the exact same way you would. Look at me I'm a success because I gave up my morals, ethics, ideals, dreams and soul to shove my head up someone elses hind-end.
Funny thing is I'm not bitter, I'm dumbfounded, flabbergasted even. The American Dream seems to have died about the time we found out that Mexico and China had cheap labor. We don't even make better stuff anymore, its the same crap just more expencive crap. Welcome to the new America, success is a gimick. Who can find the next hunk of plastic that'll convince the masses that they need that to be happy. "Oh you have a problem with manic depression have an iPod it'll make all the nasties go away." Give it a week and you'll be throwing it though the drywall in the bathroom. Although distruction can be therapeutic so maybe with that one some logic can be found.
All ranting aside, how can we expect someone at our local * shop to be able to bring us happiness by shear force of will. Only one thing can bring joy. Love, true, total, unconditional love. The agape kind, a God kind of love. We need to find ourselves before we look to buying anything... even a toothbrush.
| | |
| Time passes ever on. So few things seem to matter anymore. On the horizon events to shape the world loom, how does it seem they never move.
I can't really explain myself for what I must do. The wanderlust rises in my chest. The cage doors snap tight, and she is my only escape. Why does life hide me away in the dark corners of oblivion? A question, like thousands of others, with no answer to be had.
Complacancy tries to poison its way into the death of hopes and dreams. But such corruption must me fought. Even when your death be the battles end. Glorious death is far greater than life without honor. We must begin to do the things we will say we will do.
A code. Not to be taboos for others to scoff at, look down there noses to. What a man should be. Something to stive for. What would such a code say?
Any thoughts would be appreciated. I did say thoughts, so you have to think before you can say anything.
Also, I warned you at the begining. Read the title.
| | |
| I am refusing to mess this up for anyone make your own oppions about the movie. Procede with caution.
So what was the solution to all that had gone into building the story for X3. I'm not going to tell you yet because many of you who haven't gotten to see it will be mad at me for ruining it for you. All I want to say is, I knew it.
Thats not all I want to say but it will have to do for now. I'll wait a couple of days if I can and put a spoiler warning for those who don't want it ruined and haven't gotten to see it at that point. I am going to say a few things in general though, if you don't want to hear those go someplace else.
Cheap. I feel like they made a lot of cheap desisions in this movie. The plot could have had much more strength, I mean they have canon to pull from that is 40+ years deep (give or take, I can't really remember and I'm to tired to look it up). Some of the characters where stronger, some much much weaker. This is also not from a power stand point. More from how well written they where. I'm really trying not to give to much away here.
Oh and nobody post any spoilers. If you want to talk about that with me e-mail or call me. Not many people around here have any idea what I'm talking about when I get going, or even when I start.
| | |
| Merlin is happy again. He is finally put back together and has internet, which is currently strung across my kitchen and dining room so that he can be plugged in. Merlin is my computer for those stairing on in bewilderment. Yes I named him, yes I am a a geek. Moving on.
Job hunt is pretty fruitless so far. Everywhere has these personallity test you have to take and well I keep failing them. 'How do you fail a personallity test?' you ask yourself. No clue, but I've done it well over a dozen times now. At some point this should be comical. I seemed to have missed it though.
It is really strange being out here. I have one friend. Low and behold its the only person who can't come over when ever they want. You know that whole guy/girl in a house together with no accountablity right before they get married. I'm trying to make new friends and keep up with old ones, it just doesn't seem like I fit into anyones life anymore. I've had this overwhelming sense of lonelyness hit me like a ton of bricks. I've gone into stores just to have sales people talk to me. I'm starting to feel really pathetic. I'm not pointing fingers or disappointed in anyone, after all it was my desision to move so suddenly. I think I just need to feel like I have something were I'm not pulling Regina down by expressing how alone I feel out here. When I'm with her its not an issue but as soon as she goes to work or some place else an emptyness sets in. Not the spiritual, lacking God kind, I've actually been doing pretty good there. I would like it if I could go to church more often. Maybe thats a social thing too.
Maybe things will get better now that I have Merlin again and my main life line to the outside world opens back up. Only time will tell I guess.
I don't want anyone to think I'm singling them out on any of this. I just needed something where it felt like someone might be listening. Other than my fiance who is still an emotional wreck from her grandma almost dieing yesterday.
Seems its been a trying time for us all.
| | |
|
